NIKA

No Heart 21

" Here he is, Professor", the pleasant voice of the cyborg says, before he drops the limp drummer in front of his father. The body makes a disturbingly loud noise when hitting the floor, making Die and Kaoru wince. The red-head is trying to stand up, intends to hurry over to the lithe drummer and help him, but a solid foot is suddenly landing in his neck, keeping him to the ground efficiently. His throat is constricted and he gasps for air, making Kaoru look up into the friendly face. "Don't hurt him!", he pleads to the unconcerned face of the man-made humanoid, "Please, please... just don't hurt him." The passive face does not change and neither does the body move, Die's face slowly pales and his twitches grow faint. "Die!", Kyo calls out from his position, still kneeling in front of the silver table, clutching Toshiya's hand. He is undecided if he should let go of the artificial bassist to help Die. He wants to, but then he realizes the blank and unblinking stare from the cyborg, that is currently obstructing Die's air-support. Just you dare and I'll snap his neck, it seems to transmit, even though no emotions are perceivable. Maybe I can read him because I'm so much like him?, shoots through the blonde's head. Kyo whimpers, feeling so helpless that it burns inside of his heart like acid. "Die!", Kaoru sobs, crawling towards the red-head, ever-smiling, encouraging face now so ashen, death clawing under the skin, dragging him away from the grasp of life. Kaoru feels himself sobbing, when suddenly the elderly voice of Shinya's father orders: "Let him go, Kimutaku!" The foot disappears from Die's neck, Kaoru feels himself being lifted and shoves in the direction of, Die. At once he gathers the man in his arms, rocking him, while Die inhales in long breaths, almost desperately. Almost unconscious he notices the small hand of Kaoru caressing his hair and there are words of compassion reaching his ears. The scent of blood, faintly some expensive perfume and lots of fear makes him comfortable, soothes him. He knows this aroma, knows this man... the cruelty around him can't reach him now, in this moment. Just for a few heartbeats, he is safe. Kyo bites his lower lip, seeing one of the cyborgs closing up to him with slow strides. They're coming to get me, beating me to make me weak like Kaoru and Die. I don't want to become weak, I don't want to leave Toshiya alone, he will be scared. I just won't let him be scared anymore. A loud groan echoes through the relative silence of the room when Shinya finally regains consciousness. "Kyo...", he mumbles. "Die-kun..." Opening the his tired eyes, he tries to comprehend his surroundings. At first there are black business shoes, distinctly his father. So the next glance shoots up the legs to the face of the man who has given him life, twice. "Father...?", he whispers and his voice shows him his own terror. The gaze flickers down on his face and he is confronted with the intelligent dark eyes and the unmoved face. "Fa...", he stops in mid-word, realizing that he probably can't reach the man anyway. He tries to get on his knees, which feel like jelly, but he fails for the moment. So he looks around, seeing the small table with tools, right next to the silver table. The drummer is familiar with those tools, especially produced for Professor Terachi and his team. The ones he would have used to disassemble Toshiya, cutting open the living tissue, labeling, sorting, specifying. No room for unwanted emotions. No need to think about the body lying under the merciless lights. Shinya closes his eyes for a short moment, when the voice of his father reaches him suddenly: "Son." He freezes and just then his eyes travel to his father's: "Yes..." "I'm very disappointed in you", even though the feeling does not show in the neutral tone. "I can imagine", Shinya sadly replies, very softly, a smile lingering on his lips. "Do you think your betrayal is amusing?" "No, it's not amusing", the lithe man's voice drops, intimidated. "Why the smile then? You are in no position to smile, son", the voice isn't even really bitter, just... cold. "I thought you'd be at least a little more grateful after I have saved you precious friend Kyo. Remember when you begged me to save him? How can you turn your back on me now?" Shinya feels tears at blurring his vision. "I didn't mean to betray you, I swear", the young drummer gulps away the choking urge to beg his father for forgiveness. His mind pushes him towards the easy solution. Beg for forgiveness and betray your friends. Just do it. Your life will be like before, easy, cultivated and calm. Trying to ignore all the voices inside, Shinya struggles to get on his feet. "You didn't mean to betray me? Like I believe that. And now your actions have ruined your life for sure", the elderly man gives a disgusted snore. "Your musical career, it's over. Your academic occupation is done for. I'm going to call security and you and your band-mates will go straight to jail." "Don't do it, father. Please, just let us go", almost a whisper, yet full of urgency. The drummer finally is able to stand up straight, facing his father on eye-level. "What you're doing is wrong, can't you see?" "I certainly don't. All I can see is that you and your fine 'band-mates' have illegally entered the Goki Motors laboratories in order to steal a very valuable prototype. The laws are against you, son." "It's not the law I'm talking about!", Shinya's voice goes up, hard and hysteric, like no one has ever heard him before. Kaoru stops rocking Die and turns towards the drummer, helping the red-head in his arms looking up, while Kyo rises, keeping the hand of the cyborg in a steady grasp. "It's you! I don't want you to become a murderer!!" "Murderer?!", Professor Terachi calls out, his voice unbelieving, "What are you talking about? This is a piece of very complex machinery you're looking at, like an AIBO." Kyo feels the acid burn inside of him, boiling over, just like before Die had stormed into the lab, he tenses, about to jump at the tall, elderly man, ripping his throat out and feed it to Toshiya. "AIBO?", a low growl escapes his throat, dangerous and warningly. He understand so much at once. Shinya's silences, Shinya's stubbornness. Like me, Shinya is just like me!! "Now I finally understand. So...then this is all I have ever been to you... A cyber-pet." Gasps are heard from the three band-members when they hear Shinya's cheerful, laughing tone. "It's somehow good to know after all these years..." "Shinya, that is not..." "True?", a soft, cruel laughter, "Stop searching for absolution father. I was your masterpiece and when I turned out to be not so masterful after all you made another son." "Shinya", Die's voice is rough, pained. Still he is in Kaoru's arms, realizing his own weakness, unable to get up and yet he wants to help and protect the gaunt younger man. Shinya doesn't even hear him, he's lost in fury and the need to see this man before him writhe in tremendous pain, suffering until he has experienced all the ache the drummer had ever endured being his son. Kyo's grip tightens around the limp hand of the cyborg, he shares Shinya's emotions on more than a rational basis, since he knows what it feels like to realize "I'm not human!", when suddenly there is a twitch touching his palm. Shocked, his eyes flicker to the figure of the cyborg, who is unmoved, before they turn to their joined hands. Doubting he senses the soft pressure, yet the cyborg does not move. Die wonders, why Shinya's father doesn't disagree. Maybe his son speaks the truth? Or he thinks it's beyond him to argue with a cyborg? Shinya's voice breaks the thick silence. "But even your second self-made son failed you, became imperfect, so you decide to get rid of him." Shinya tilts his head a little, his eyes are dreamy, soft, lovable. "When will you get rid of me at last?" "Shut up, Shinya!", the Professor reacts. "You are my son. I did only it to save you from death. I'd have given everything to save your life." "Even your heart and soul...", Shinya laughs sadly. "Maybe I didn't want to treat my life for your soul, but you never asked me. You never asked me at all. You just decided." "We have to help him...", Die whispers urgently into Kaoru's ear. "How? When we move those stupid cyborgs will attack us, probably even kill us", Kaoru states. Their looks linger on the unmoving, yet somehow threatening artificial-people, the pains in their respective bodies is still raging. "We can't do anything...", Die whispers, his voice full of self-mockery. Kaoru doesn't know why his hand suddenly strokes through the red hair, but it soothes him too. Meanwhile Kyo's look rests on the tools beside the silver table. A scalpel is shining brightly, seductively, almost like beckoning him: 'Take me and kill him!'. His hand holds tighter onto Toshiya's, when he tries to find patience in the relaxed face. The lips open: "Kyo-kun...", it's just a breath, formed into speech, but the blonde's heart skips a beat. "Toshiya!", he bows over the cyborg and the heads of all non-artificial beings in the room jerk towards the two of them. "Toshiya! Toshiya?", Kyo whispers, hoping to receive another of those breathed words. Amazed Kaoru and Die try to jump on their feet, only to tumble back on the ground, groaning. And they still cling to each other like there was nothing else real that they could hold on to. Kyo doesn't even hear them, he just concentrates on the lips of his cyborg-child. "Impossible!", the Professor exclaims, but he is also ignored. Shinya moves towards the table, but is hold back by his father, who tries to shove his son at the side to get there first. Without opening his eyes, Toshiya's lips move again: "I was hoping...", his eyes open and Kyo is able to make out tears rimming the orbs. The cyborg fixes his look on the blonde. "Hoping to see you when I would wake up. Always hoping..." "I'm here", Kyo assures, releasing Toshiya's hand and placing it on the naked shoulder. The skin is cool and the cyborg shivers. "Are you cold?", the singer asks and the cyborg nods a little, before Kyo can do anything about it, he hears an order: "Nikki, hold him!" Kyo feels grabbed by strong hands, twisting his arms behind his back and before he is even able to put up any resistance, he totally restricted. The cyborg drags him back from the table and towards Die and Kaoru, who call out: "Kyo!", in terror, fearing for the little one's health. "Kyo-kun!!"; Shinya's voice is even more desperate. Toshiya's arms reach out and stretch for the small man, his hand only manage to catch the air. "No!", he sobs, "Kyo-kun!" Weakly the cyborg tries to sit up, when the hands of the Professor press him back down on the metallic surface. "Sleep Toshiya, sleep!" "I don't want to sleep, I'm not tired", the artificial bassist resists, "What are you doing to my band-mates?!" Shinya reaches the table and encourages Toshiya: "Don't listen to his orders, Toshiya. Get up! Get up and run for it!" "Kimutaku, hold my son!", only two heartbeats after the order has been spoken, Shinya feels the supernaturally strong arms bind him. "I hate you, father! I really hate you!! Run, Toshiya!" the lithe drummer squeals and struggles against the restraining flesh. "Shinya-kun!", Toshiya calls out, now sitting up. "Don't hurt him!" Kyo joins Shinya: "He's right, run for it, dammit!" The cyborg wipes away the hand of the Professor with strange ease, before his long legs dangle over the side of the table. He jumps to his legs, a little unsteady and yet as if he is fully aware of his body. "Yes, Toshiya, run!", Kaoru croaks from his position on the floor. "No! I won't leave you! You are my band-mates!", the cyborg protests and his face shows that he means it. "Sleep, Toshiya!", Professor Terachi tries again, his voice hold a certain hypnotic quality. "Shut up!", all eyes grow wide. "If you won't listen to me, I will have to hurt your precious band-mates!", the elderly man struggles for his countenance and the control over this berserk piece of machinery. Toshiya hesitates, his motions grew less fluent...just a moment. Then his strides direct him to Kyo easily. "No, idiot! Run! Run!", Kyo protests, still attempting on freeing himself, but his eyes meet the cyborg's and he sees the sweetest smile on the lovely face. "Run...!", he mumbles, defeated. "Keiichi, get Toshiya!!", comes the next order, one the four other members were almost expecting. The large, heavy-built man moves with grace, catching one of Toshiya's arms in a unyielding fist. The blue-haired cyborg does not seem surprised, as he turns and beams at the older model. Kyo closes his eyes since he doesn't want to experience the scene when his cyborg will be torn into pieces, he lowers his head to the floor and waits for the inevitable. But only undisturbed silence ensues. He dares to blink and the two cyborgs are staring at each other in a way he could almost define as enthralled. However, the contact breaks and Keiichi shakes his head, before he turns and heads to the Professor. "Keiichi, what are you doing? Keiichi?! Stop! Sleep!" Much to his horror, the cyborg doesn't listen to him but comes closer without even hesitating. But Toshiya isn't even paying attention to the desperation in the eyes of the studied man, he walks over to Kyo, who looks at him wonderingly. "What.... how?", is all he can urge out, but Toshiya shakes his head, afterwards directing his look up to the eyes of the cyborg holding the blonde in a tight grip. Shinya understands suddenly: "Visual data exchange...", he whispers in awe, the shocked intake of breath from the Professor proves him right. Keiichi reaches the Shinya's father and stands beside him, doing nothing, but making very sure that he always could do something terrible and painful. Kyo feels that his arms are free suddenly. He rubs them to get to blood to flow properly, when two iron strings are wrapped around him. "Kyo-kun!", Toshiya croaks, while he presses the small body to his naked one. "I was so afraid. I wished for you to be with me." The he releases the small vocalist, who nearly loses his balance back on his own feet. Seeing the cyborg, he is reminded of a small, fragile bird again. "That was quite cool, Toshiya. I didn't know you could do that", Kyo finally mumbles, tilting his head towards the two influenced cyborgs. "I didn't either. I suddenly just felt that I could", Toshiya's lips again form a delicate smile. "Are you hurt?" "No..." "Good." Toshiya tuns around and his eyes grow icy and fierce: "Good for you!" The cyborg takes Kyo's hand and tugs the smaller along, as he heads for the last remaining cyborg. "Tell your man to release Shinya", Kyo growls at the man who is paling more and more, his fingers clinging to the edge of the silver table, knuckles white, but he still puts up a fight for superiority. "Tell him now!", the singer sounds more like a wild beast. "Release Shinya", Professor Terachi's voice is suddenly flattening, lifeless. Then he sinks to his knees, just as defeated as the band-mates only a few minutes before. When the drummer is free, he flies into the arms of Kyo, burying his head in the smaller man's neck. Astonished the small blonde wraps his arms around the sobbing drummer. "Are you alright, Shinya-kun?", Toshiya asks carefully. "I'm sorry he has hurt you so much." Shinya's still sobbing and not up to any answer. Toshiya sighs and hurries over to Die and Kaoru. "How are you two?", he kneels beside the pair, still entangled, just realizing that they still have their arms around each other. "Toshiya, listen! Get a piece of paper and a pen, quickly", Kaoru hisses, Die mumbles something like a question, but it drowns in his aching throat. "Then come back here." The cyborg nods and scans the room for the items, finding them immediately. He gathers them, while Kaoru strokes Die's hair again, the red-head feels himself passing out from exhaustion and it's warm and safe within Kaoru's arms. "It's okay, Die-kun", the leader reassures him, his voice trembles with anger towards the man who had hurt Die and his own helplessness. Toshiya returns, kneeling beside Kaoru, who smiles, but says in a businesslike voice: "Write this: I herewith give up any claim on the "Toshiya-Cyborg" prototype of Goki Motors. Got it?" "...yes..." "Now, bring it over to Shinya's father and let him sign it, okay?" The cyborg sits totally still, eyes dull. "Toshiya-kun..."; Kaoru closes his eyes in realization of his own fault, the choice of words. "...yes...", a soft whisper. Then the lithe beauty stands up abruptly. "I'll do it, Kaoru-kun." Shinya has got a grip on himself in the meanwhile, rubbing away the unusual wetness on his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Kyo-kun." "Don't be!", Kyo cheers him, a tender smile on his lips, inducing a sad echo on the drummer's face. "Thank you, Kyo-kun.", he looks at his frail hands, thoughtfully, "I feel so... empty... now." Kyo laughs bitterly: "Believe me, I just know how you feel. It's okay, you don't have to be perfect now. One day you'll wake up and feel less empty and gradually your life fills up again." His smaller hand, seemingly more powerful to anyone who doesn't know Shinya's endurance, softly strokes the shiny hair: "I'm here for you, always. Die is there for you. Kaoru too, and now Toshiya will be with us, also. You have us and we are certainly damn lucky to have a brave young drummer like you." Shinya bites his lower lip before he falls into Kyo's arms again: "I love you, Kyo-kun!" Kyo closes his eyes, takes in the emotions and love radiating from Shinya's strong hold. "I know", is all he can urge out. Professor Terachi twitches, when a hand is catching his collar and pulls him up with startling strength. "Sign this!" It's his own creation, his very own cyborg who hisses this order, a paper is shoved under his nose. Numbly he sees the content and chokes at the words. This is his moment of pain, of humiliation. "Sign!", the cyborg urges impatiently, a pen is also there, but no way out. So he shakily draws his Kanji under the neat writing. "Here it is", the unreadable faced cyborg states to Kaoru, again sinking to his knees and giving him the paper, "What shall I do now?" "We have to get out of here", Die's hoarse voice makes Kaoru jump. Kyo appears beside them suddenly, Shinya in tow, the young drummer still puffy eyed and yet smiling a little. "I second that", Shinya says. "But what'll we do with him?", Kyo's thumb points to the broken Professor. Then he puts a white smock around Toshiya's naked shoulders where the skin is still cool. Toshiya looks up into the blonde's face, a grateful, magic smile lighting up his closed face. "We need some time to get away", Kaoru ponders, all of them nodding. A smile despite the pin spreads on his face when it finally sinks in: They're all still here. "Let's bind him", Toshiya suggests in a low, hard voice. "Good thinking", Die agrees, "We will have the time to get away and yet those Security Guards are going to find him sooner or later." "I'll do it!" And in lieu of any possible protest, the cyborg stands up, slipping into the smock, closing up the buttons. With long, elegant strides he reaches the Professor. "Are you alright, Shinya?", the singer asks a little worried when he sees, how the drummer stares at the shattered figure of his father. "I don't know...", Shinya whispers. "You will be", the croaked voice of Die suddenly enthuses him. "I know you will be." The drummer nods, even though it seems a little forced. Then, just to do something, he gathers their stuff and shoulders the bag. Toshiya's eyes transmit orders to his fellow cyborg, even when it's less advanced than himself and the older model takes a hold of his maker, an iron lock around the body. "Don't hurt him, just hold him", are the final words from Toshiya, who does not even pay his maker a look of disgust. I think he's changed. He's so cold and plotting, shoots through Kyo's head when he watches the scene. He knows! God in the heaven, he knows what he is! "Toshiya...", he begins when the slender bassist joins them again, but then he sees...tears rolling down the perfect cheeks. "I want to get out of here", the cyborg whispers and it sounds like he is about to break. "Sure", Kyo answers, trying to help Kaoru and Die up to their feet, together with Shinya. Die seems still more out of it than able to stand on his own. Toshiya just sweeps the tall red-head in his arms and starts to carry him out: "I don't know the way, please show it to me." His voice is so cold that the other shiver, while Kyo and Shinya help Kaoru walking. Their way out is a frightened, hasty one, the painful pants of Kaoru are the only real noise. Much too their surprise the door is still open and when they leave the smelly, run-down building, it feels like they are reborn. First signs of dawn are seen on the horizon, when they take a short break, Die is carefully set on the ground by Toshiya and they are standing, breathing in carefully. "We really made it", Kaoru whispers, able to stand on his own. "Are you able to drive?", Shinya asks, but Kyo denies for him: "I'll drive. Just get in the car and we're really out of here!" Somehow shakily they climb into the car Die is put in the front, and Shinya wraps his arm around Kaoru in the back. "Kyo-kun", it's Shinya, a shadow of his usual self-confidence reappearing in his voice. "Hm?" "Get us to Die's apartment. I'll watch the two of them today." "Shin...", Kaoru tries to protest. "No, you can't stay alone today. I'm not wounded, so I'm the one to do it." Kaoru finds himself smiling: "There is our old Shinya again...", he mumbles and Kyo starts the car. Die is fast sleep. "Die-kun, wake up", being shaken softly, Die awakes. "Come on, you're home." He nods numbly and follows the friendly voice, even though he feels powerless he stumbles to his feet and finds himself in his apartment. "Just a few more steps, Die-kun", the soft voice assures him. He recognizes the smell that surrounds him. He is really home, feels pressed into his bed, sighs and lets his body give in to fatigue. Vaguely he feels another body next to his own, but he just doesn't care. In the back of his mind he triumphs, because he has kept his promise and reached his aim, so a sleepy smile is even staying on his lips when he's in deep slumber. Shinya sighs and looks at the two entangled men on the small bed. He hauled out the spare-futon and spread it on the floor. Trying to lock out the voice of his father and the pictures still so vivid by concentrating on the regular breathing patterns of the two men beside him. Kyo, he suddenly thinks. The soft smiles, the tender embrace. He knows Kyo does not love him, but still he gives him strength. Clinging to the picture of a smiling Kyo, he slips into his own world of sleep. Kyo feels worn out emotionally and physically when he finally turns the key of his apartment. Toshiya is silent, broody. Not an ounce of the former bouncy personality in him. When Toshiya has entered the apartment, he heads straight for his room, lowers the blinds. Then he turns around and whispers: "I'm not human." For the longest time Kyo has feared this statement, but he decides to nod and say: "I'm not really either." "What am I?" Fear... "What do you want to be?" A question as an answer. "What can I be?" "Whatever you choose. It's all up to you", Kyo inhales deeply. "Me?", the tone of voice is the one that said: "I was waiting for you to explain the sense of taste to me." in this fragile, noisy, hopeful way. Suddenly Toshiya grabs the bag from Kyo's shoulder, pulls out the laptop and holds it out to the small blonde: "Make it go away! Erase it!" "No, I won't because it isn't going to help!" Loud voice, no patience. "I'm sorry." He softly urges the cyborg to sit on the couch, taking the laptop away, placing it out of reach, only to sink beside the disturbed artificial being. "I can't say that if it was right what we did today or if it was wrong. But..." He gently puts an arm around the bony shoulders of the cyborg, who then meets his eyes. "Apart from what I thought, you are something very human that came out of an inhuman act and our selfishness. We shouldn't have urged the Professor to make you, that is true. We shouldn't have been tempted to take it the easy way, cause there is never an easy way." He pulls the cyborg in a warm embrace, even though Toshiya remains still. "I'm glad you're here." Toshiya's walls break down, he clings on to the singer and words stream out of his mouth as tears stream out of his eyes. "I was so afraid I would never see you again. It hurt so much, my body hurt and there was another pain, burning deep inside of me. I felt them coming, taking me but I couldn't move. All I ever hoped for, was to see your face when I woke up. I was so glad to hear you!" "And I was glad to see you waking up again." The cyborg pulls away and studies Kyo's face: "So it doesn't matter to you what I am?" "It used to, but since I'm much like you myself...no it doesn't. It's our band-secret, okay? We're the only band to have a perfect bassist-cyborg in the whole damn world. That should make you proud." The first short laughter fills the room. The pretty blue-stranded head falls to Kyo's chest and listens to the heartbeat. "You know... Kaoru hurt me, somehow." Kyo gulps: "I know... It can't be undone, I'm sorry I didn't protect you." "Un... but... can you forgive him?" "I'm not sure." "I do." "If you can... then I can." "Good, because I want our band to be like a family", the cyborgs sighs a little longingly. "You sound like Kaoru." "Really? Gotta change that." "Yep!" The small blonde pulls away: "I don't know about you, leader-sama, but I'd like to give myself a rest. Unlike you, I haven't been sleeping for quite a long time." A grin: "I can deal with a little sleep." No words disturb their slow way to Kyo's futon, where they undress and sink into the comfortable folds quietly. When Kyo closes his eyes, a warm mouth suddenly covers his own. "What was that...?" He doesn't even bother opening his eyes. "Was it horrible?" "No, it was nice, but..." "But?" "I'm too tired for sex tonight. Tomorrow, yes." "Sex?" A amused grunt: "Okay, making love." "I thought it was called 'fan-service'." "Don't listen to Kaoru too much. Fan-service is for show, it is fake. Making love to someone isn't fake." Kyo unwillingly opens his eyes and is caught in the fiery gaze of the cyborg: "I want to learn all about the difference", Toshiya whispers, seductively. Kyo feels a shiver grazing his skin and a sad thought: How many hearts will he steal? How many of these night until he finds out what he does to people. Despite that a grin appears on his face: "I will be your ready teacher. But now let's sleep." He reaches out to the other man who snuggles into the waiting arms. "I think I know the difference already...", Toshiya mumbles sleepily. "So...?", a even more sleep-laden answer. "With Kaoru it was fake..." "...right...", that is coming from within dreamland already. "But it's not fake with you." That is all he is sure about for now.

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