NIKA

Love For Good

[942 Words ] When the year comes to an end, the world suddenly seems to find back to traditional values, which it usually ignores during the rest of the year. Family, giving, happiness and love become goods to be traded, covered in colorful distasteful paper, topped with a bow. We are busy in the moment, big things lie ahead and time is short, mostly we concentrate on our work, our business. There is no time to pack trivial things into a box or care much about our families, even though they are in our hearts, always. It's different with me, you know? A part of my family is with me, it comes in form of a blonde, lean young man, who is my little brother. There he sits, fiddling with his bass, making a slightly unhappy face. After what Takeo had said to me I had spent a little time pondering his words, although not too much time, since there are other things that keep my mind occupied. I barely sleep, let alone have time to think. I wonder if we should return home over Christmas and see our parents again, but I guess there won't be time for that. After all, we are neither Christian nor do I believe in this "happy family meeting" stuff, but I miss them none the less. I wonder what Kohta will do on Christmas and I am about to go and ask him. Well, probably his girl-friend will be with him, since this is a holiday for lovers. And I will be busy, I remember vaguely that I have made an appointment for an interview...or was that a photo-shoot? Damn, my brain is more holes than memory...I have to check that on my calendar. Pondering all that, I suddenly find myself in front of my brother, who is now sipping some ocha and presents me with a scrutinizing raise of his eyebrows. "Hey, Onii", he greets me, with a sudden broad smile, after he gulped the last of the green liquid in the plastic bottle. "Kohta...", I start, well starting with a name is a good thing, right? I mean, it proves that I have, after all, not forgotten everything. I remember my brother's name...I give a lame smile at my own inner joke and tug some of my hair behind my ear. "What are you doing on Christmas?" I can read in his face that this question was unexpected: "...why?" "I was wondering. I mean, you probably spend your time with your sweet-heart, but I just got this strange thoughts about...family and home and stuff." Kohta's face displays a whole ensemble of different emotions: wonder, concern, a flicker of sadness, distrust... It's really cute to see. "You? Are you really alright, Onii?" He launches forward and brings a cool palm to my forehead, mischief in his eyes. I back and shake my head: "I'm trying to be serious here!" He grins: "Probably!" Then he tilts his head: "But you don't sound too much like him. Who are you and what have you done to my brother?" Even though he tries to keep a straight face, he bursts into silly laughter. The others around us blink in confusion and I present an excusing smile. "Sorry, my little brother is just out of his mind..." I murmur and everyone starts to giggle. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Well, so much about 'respect your leader'! "Why are you asking?" Kohta comes back from his laughing-fit: "Are you alone?" My head shoots up, and he looks no longer like a joker. "Alone...?" I repeat, as if I heard this word for the first time. I mean, I don't mind being on my own. It happens rarely enough, mostly when no one is around I'm asleep. Or working. I don't have time to be alone. I shake my head: "No, I'm not alone..." I state, and realize that it sounds almost forlorn. Then I grin: "I was just wondering if you needed some company on Christmas." My brother looks around an drags me out of the room. When we are on our own, he asks : "Are you really okay?" I nod with energy. Takeo's words surge through my head, making me say: "I just wanted to be a good brother, you know." My hands go up to show that there is no harm done. "I do care about you, Kohta." A fragile smile crosses his lips, as he reaches out to me, placing a hand on my shoulders. He looks at me with eyes, full of admiration and brotherly love. And I know similar feelings must be mirrored on my face, cause I feel loved again, suddenly. Different from the love Takeo has offered me. It's planted much deeper inside of me, filling me with pride, that this young man is my brother and knowledge that if I should ever be down or desperate, he will be there for me, because he cares for me too. Who needs Christmas-presents when one has a love that will last until I pass away? A love for good. "Maybe," he begins in a low voice. "Maybe, we can get out together to buy something for oka-san and otou-san?" I nod. My brains hurries through our schedules, before I suggest: "Maybe next week?" He beams at me, saying: "Great!" He throws an arm around me and we stumble back in, him babbling about what he has thought of getting for our parents. And me frowning, since it doesn't sound too convincing. And I catch an approving smile from Takeo, before routine sets in again and time runs through my fingers like water.

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